he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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