Define "chronic" masturbator.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
