Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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