I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
