none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I look better un-naked...
i think i have herpe
just one?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
