She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
