i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
