it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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