It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
