do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
