cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
