Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
