I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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