I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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