someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
