I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
