last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
