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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
