I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
