he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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