bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
