so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
