Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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