Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
