Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
