Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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