So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
