They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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