I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
