and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
