I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
