Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
