yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
