Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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