i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
