Im at strip club and am horny
barbara walters just said penis...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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