apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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