Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
