Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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