sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
