the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
