yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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