You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
