Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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