Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
