did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
