Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
