i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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