So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
