remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
