first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
When are your genitals available?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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