we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
